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I've seen this one floating around, and I figured why not?
First, select your ten fictional characters (from any medium) by whichever method you like best. Then answer the questions below.
1. Optimus Prime (Transformers)
2. Captain America (Marvel Comics)
3. Major Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)
4. Fone Bone (Bone)
5. Bender Bending Rodriguez (Futurama)
6. Yuna (Final Fantasy X)
7. Tepet Ejava, the Roseblack (Exalted)
8. Miyamoto Usagi (Usagi Yojimbo)
9. David Xanatos (Gargoyles)
10. Spider Jerusalem (Transmetropolitan)
I decided to limit myself to one character from a given continuity and selected my favorites from each.
1. Divide the list up by even and odd. Which group of five would make a better Five Man Band (like a Power Rangers team)? Who would you slot in each position: Leader, Lancer (second-in-command), Big Guy, Smart Guy, The Chick? If you think the team would be improved by swapping one character between the even and odd groups, which ones would you switch?
Team A: Optimus Prime, the Major, Bender, Tepet Ejava and David Xanatos. Robots, cyborgs and people who wear some sort of giant armor. This is the most metal sentai team ever.
Leader: Optimus Prime
Lancer: Tepet Ejava
Big Guy: Major Kusanagi
Smart Guy: David Xanatos
The Chick: Bender
Team B: Captain America, Fone Bone, Yuna, Usagi and Spider. This is simultaneously awesome and horrible.
Leader: Captain America
Lancer: Usagi
Big Guy: Yuna
Smart Guy: Spider Jerusalem
The Chick: Fone Bone
I think Team B has the advantage here, simply because Cap's team is more cohesive - if anything, his Smart Guy's not already planning to inevitably betray the entire team.
2. Gender-swap 2, 8 & 10. Which character would have the most change in their story arc? Which the least? Would any of these characters have to have a complete personality change to be believable as the opposite sex?
Cap, Usagi and Spider.
Spider changes the least, although many readers would probably find a female with Spider's exact personality traits much less likable.
Usagi's Japan appears to have slightly less strict gender roles than the historical Shogunate-era Japan, if Tomoe Ame is an example. It's likely a female Usagi would have risen less high in Lord Mifune's service, and the subplot of Jotaro wouldn't work, but I don't think much else would have to change.
Captain America, of course, has to change the most due to the nature of 1940s America, but Kalinara already examined that, so.
3. Compare the matchups of 1 & 8 and 5 & 9. (Ignore canon sexual preferences for the moment.) Which couple would be more compatible? Which couple would be more plausible to people from either principle's home culture?
Optimus Prime/Usagi Yojimbo and Bender/Xanatos
Um. They're robots. I have no idea how that would work.
4. Your team is 3, 4 & 9. The mission consists of a social challenge, a mental challenge and a physical challenge. Which team member do you assign to each challenge?
Major Kusanagi, Fone Bone and David Xanatos
Well, no one's more badass than the Major, so she takes the physical challenge, and Xanatos already had a winning plan, so he gets the mental challenge. That leaves Fone Bone for the social challenge, but fortunately Xanatos arranged ahead of time for to be at Fone's speed.
5. 7 becomes 1's boss for a week in some plausible fashion. How's their working relationship?
Tepet Ejava as Optimus Prime's superior.
Hmm. While Optimus would certainly admire Ejava's "lead from the front" style, I think there would be some conflict there. At first it would simply be because Prime would be used to being Supreme Commander, and then due to idealogical clashes - the Roseblack's patronizing elitism toward those of lesser birth would come into direct conflict with Optimus' more populist views.
6. 2 finds him/her/itself inserted into 6's continuity. As far as anyone other than 2 or 6 is concerned, they've always been there. What role would 2 be presumed to have had in 6's story, and could they fit in without going wonky?
Captain America (Spira?) in Yuna's setting.
Hmm. Cap would work as a former Guardian or Crusader, presumed missing for years and only recently returned (sort of like Auron). Steve could easily join Yuna's group of Guardians, or serve as part of Operation Mi'hen. The only big problem is that Cap's union suit is a bit outlandish by Spiran standards - it covers too much skin.
7. 3 and 5 get three wishes. The catch is that they have to agree on all three wishes before they get the benefits of any of them. What three wishes would they make?
The Major and Bender.
...
There is almost nothing these two could agree on, except maybe beer. So, lots of that.
8. 1 and 2 are brainwashed by a one-time artifact that works even on people immune to mind control to attack and kill 4. They keep their normal personality, skills and competence level, except any Code vs. Killing has been turned off. Can 4 survive? How?
Robot Jesus and the Living Legend of World War II versus Fone Bone.
Unless the Great Red Dragon comes to Fone's rescue, he's toast.
9. 6, 7, 9 & 10 must help an orphanage full of small and depressed children have a merry Christmas. Who does what, knowing that at the very least the kids will be expecting a visit from Santa?
Yuna, Tepet Ejava, David Xanatos and Spider Jerusalem save Christmas!
Yeah, the kids are boned.
Ejava will have no idea what this "Christmas" thing is, but she'll be pretty sure it's blasphemous. Spider hates happy people in general and Christmas in particular, so he'll be on a cocktail of exotic drugs. On the plus side, once someone explains to Yuna what Christmas is about, she'll be all for it.
It basically comes down to which outcome benefits Xanatos. If the kids having a happy Christmas advances one of his plans, he'll ensure Yuna has every resource at his disposal and may even play Santa himself (it's good PR). However, if unhappy orphans somehow factors into his plans, then no Santa for you, kids. Yuna, of course, will blame herself.
10. 3 and 8 are challenged to circumnavigate the Earth in eighty days or less, using only forms of transportation invented before 1900. Can they do it, or will they be fatally distracted by sidequests or their own personality conflicts?
On the road with the Major and Usagi!
There is no way in hell they'll make it in time. Usagi will drag Motoko along on sidequest after sidequest to save villages, help abandoned children and foil demons and evil aristocrats every ten miles ... and then they'll get lost taking one of Gen's shortcuts. Each time, Usagi will exclaim that it's not his fault.
Tags: Y'know, I'm tagging my entire friends list. Post, you bastards.
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